| I am Portia-Wong, with the hyphen. The two words have to be connected, otherwise, they are just two individual random words only. Beside the name, I am nothing else, because I am the name. I am her name, but she doesn't have me only. She has Tsz-Man, Wong-Tszman, Porr-Wong, Wang, Jack, Wang-Zhe, Pei-Sheung, Che-Lau-Yuen, and many many others. Some she has abandoned for a long time, some have been stopped calling by the others, and some have just been forgotten by people, even she. At one time, I really think that she loved me, at least she liked to introduce me to the others when she was introducing herself. She even permitted my name to be printed on her identity card and passport, to be part of her legal name. However, although today there are still many people call her in my name, she is tired of me. I don't need to be so sensitive to know this. She even says it out. She tells her new friends and new classmates to call her Tsz-Man, her first given name, granted by her mother since she was 10-day old. I am losing confidence in being her favorite day by day. I understand that I was just an idiot before when I kept having the illusion of "living with her happy ever after", like the classic fairy-tale one. I am just a fool if I still be so naive. What is the point to be part of her legal name? She has absolute right to change her name, even her gender, not mention to eliminate her extended-part of name. Maybe one day, I will be disappeared in her life, but I am sure I will still be remembered by some people. In those people's memory, I am in my heyday… |
